I remember
When I use to sneak outside at night
Wrapped in a jacket
With and iPod and a chair
I'd sit on the deck for hours
Singing
Waiting
Singing
Shivering
Until I felt the tears come
And I would cry until I nearly suffocated
Surprised at how long I could hold my breath
I cried so hard
I bit the steel back of the chair
To keep myself from screaming
Until I felt my fears retreating
And I slid open the door
And went to bed
To cry no more