you found me far from home, cold on a swing, feet buried in the sand.
you wrenched a laugh out from under the lump in my throat.
i smiled, that night, lay on my back in the dark , giddy from the thought
of you.

the next day i went back to where you found me, and waited.
you came, and we spent a day so magical i almost forgot
the deep waters waiting to swallow us whole at departure.
we spent 3 days together, and it never occurred to me that
i'd never see you again. you kissed me goodbye.
it was hopeless, i convinced myself it was romantic.

when i came back to reality, and i was back in my bed,
far far away from where you'd found me, i stayed awake at night.
went through it all in order,
The first words, ‘’do you speak english?’’,
the way your grin stopped me dead in my tracks,
how the sun kissed sand we sat on burned patterns into my thighs,
the creaking of the swings as they went, up and down, up and down.
every small meaningless detail, until, goodbye.

i hated the feeling of nostalgia, but i didn't want to forget.
we spoke through message everyday, planned our lives.
you said you'd come over on my 16th birthday.
we we're almost lovers.
i told you every night, i love you i love you i love you
you were always asleep by then.



you felt it was wrong, told me it was alright,
you could wait. so i explored myself, and found comfort in
cold places with other people
the sunburn on my chest faded and i forgot,
forgot how everything felt

you fell asleep waiting for me to come home and
you woke with no messages. i exhausted you.
the love was still there, just buried somewhere in the sand,
where we left it,
i had hoped the water would wash it away and find you again.
empty, cold conversations.
i let you down.
you vanished.

i hope you are good, i hope you think of me
Sometimes.