i feel like someone's dumped cold water over me
snapped me awake from some ludicrous dream i
clung onto. one i dismissed my alarm for
and pressed my cheek to my pillow, eyes clenched shut
and begging,
take me back take me back I never saw how it ended

im so angry, no matter how many sheep
i count i can't drift off like that again
and when i close my eyes i feel like I'm staring into
the back window of an ambulance.
it feels cold here, grim, like ive lost someone dear

and maybe, it's not that deep.
and ill turn my alarm off for another dream one morning.
when the sun is bright and i can feel it drift between my
blinds and warm strips of my skin.

but right now im wide awake, and my blankets
are soaked over me, and i swear,
ill never forgive who held that bucket
and ill never forget the tiny little black hole on the back of that ambulance

and i will forever claw at the seams of my pillow,
until i find that dream again.