''you knew who i was from the start and i know you now,''

you're only partially wrong, at the start I knew you,
i knew where we stood.
But now the closer we get the more lost
i become.

you struck me at the most unexpected time
you were a bold strike of lightning hitting me dead on,
you buckled me and rewired my mind while i
was down.
i woke up with your electricity in my veins.

i hate you for changing the world around me,
i hate that you started something in me im not
strong enough to finish
i hate that you'll leave and ill look for you in
every stranger.

i admire the way you are unapologetically yourself
and how you believe in god, despite everything,
despite how you yourself are a beacon of hope
and power. the only one ive ever known.

and i don't half love the way you challenge me,
push me to stand on my own two feet and
start fires in the void parts of me
but it terrifies me, how you're burning up
everything that makes me myself.

when did the voice inside my head become yours?