it will prove
how smart and lovable I am
not overworked and still sick after
a month of coughing and pain
if he calls, I will be redeemed
not rejected and secure and safe
not nervous and frightened about
what the future holds
if he calls, it will prove nothing
it will be a momentary drug that won't last
because he's have called before
and I feel wretched in this moment,
working on a weekend
still sick
and unable to be at peace with myself.