Some one sent me a message
It contained a beautifully written poem
About a blue bird.
A bird who lost his home.
While the people on the ground
gaze up at it
envious of it's freedom.
While he gazes down still looking for his place
I feel for this poor bird,
I thought I knew who I was
What I wanted
Who I wanted
Where I wanted to be
Lately I'm not sure anymore.
I feel the earth caving in.
I'm trying to accept who I am
and what I am becoming.
I try to hold the hands of others
through their storms,
but when it's my turn
and the clouds are surrounding me
I look up
and no one's there.
I feel alone in this storm.
The rain starts to pour
I'm drenched,
with more than water,
I'm soaked with frustration
with fear
with loneliness.
I will be there for you
forever
I was secretly hoping for the same in return
I know I won't get it.
I never will.
I stare at the ground as the rain falls
Alone,
that's what I am,
I'm alone.
Alone with my thoughts
with this prison I've trapped myself in.
Afraid of the judgement of others,
It's like a freezing rain drop
stabbing my skin.
I try to avoid it.
The judgement.
I put up this facade like the blue bird
of happiness
and freedom.
When all I'm trying to do
is free myself from the chains
I've put myself in.
It's no one's fault but my own
I chose my actions
I chose to be everything that I'm not.
Now that I'm trying to free myself of it
I'm get the backhand of judgement thrown my direction.
I don't do it to look cool,
I do it because I like it.
Because I always have.
I try not to let it get to me.
I try to be strong.
I tell myself I'm worth more
I tell myself I deserve to be who I want to be.
Maybe I'm just that blue bird looking for a home
Someplace that will accept me
I hope that I am that home for others.
I'll take you as you are.
Give you the love you deserve,
So I'll be there for you,
but I'll continue to fly
just like that lost bird
looking for my home,
looking for love,
looking for acceptance.