Beyond the feeling of distraction
I have to keep on doing what I have.
Keep on working, being serious,
keep my head cool and
make my heart beat slowly
that no one could hear it.

I am nervous about so many things but you
made me a neurotic.
You are the reason of refusing eating,
abusing coffee.

You make me feel alive,
Alive enough to die
in controversies, in disappointments.

You are the pain in my back that embraces me so warm
And cozy.

You are the every moment of reality,
The first breath of autumn.
The first sip of coffee after a sleepless night.
The whiff of the first cigarette
that makes me always feel dizzy.

You make me feel quite awful.
Enough to feel the best part of every sight I see,
Of every action I take and every mistake I commit.
I imagine your ***** past and you future, even dirtier.
And if I could be more closer to your real life,
I would not think of it.

Everyone knows how to make one love,
How to draw a beautiful picture.
What colors and objects to put over the life to cover it.
But no one knows how to protect it
prevent all the rain and alcohol drops
which soon will wash all the colors off.

I don’t know anything about life.
I don’t know anything of being in someone else’s life.