The other day I was asked,

if I had ever been in a toxic relationship before.

It was a conversation between manager and managee, but we don't see it that way.

We are friends.

And we got onto the topic of crazy exes.

And so I told my story. About the one man I dated before coming out of the closet.

And how he threw me into the ground, after pulling a knife on me.

To be honest I threw him to the ground first.

It was after a concert.

And we were both drunk.

But after a slip up I made we ended up on a train going the wrong way.

And I had a panic attack.
He didn't like that.

He took my phone and pretended to throw it across the tracks.

So of course, I was in distress.

And I cried, and I cried.

And I had been on the phone with my mom, my one true confidante and he stripped that away.

To this day, I still look back on this moment as abuse. Why did no one help me?

He pulled a knife from his pocket and said if I did not stop crying he would slit his wrists.

At that I lost it.

We had a mutual friend who had killed himself.

How dare this ******* threaten the same thing.

Despite the fact that he was an ex MMA fighter I took him down.

I hooked my leg against his and shoved him down into the ground and screamed at him, saying he shouldn't say such things.

And rather than hold me, he flipped me into the dirt and pushed mt face down. I tasted gravel.

Anyone who wanted to help was barked away by him.

Why was I so alone.

Why did no one come.

The rest of us ended in similar situations.

He then proceeded to sleep with my best friend.

And I broke up with more than one person that day.