I think I need to learn what I deserve.
I've managed to get myself to thinking that what isn't worthy of me, is.
And as much as I don't want to admit that,
As mean as it sounds,
I deserve better than what I've been giving myself.
I don't deserve the cuts covering my skin.
I don't deserve the pain I'm in.
I don't deserve to feel lonely or sad or betrayed.
I don't deserve to feel tired all the time.
I deserve to sleep soundly at night, because the demons shouldn't disturb my slumber.
I deserve to not have to cry myself to sleep because I'm better than that.
I deserve to be independent because I don't need anyone.
I deserve the man who will drop everything and come running to me
The man who tells me he won't ever leave
The man who isn't afraid to argue with me
Or tell me when I'm being mean
The man who loves me for me, good and bad
The man who won't cheat or lie or break my heart
The man who wipes my tears and holds me at night.
But you?
You don't deserve me.
Because I am better than your lies.