I want you to know that I miss you.
I want you to know that I have heated the coldest corners of my mind,
So you would have a warm place to sleep.

I want you to know that my heart still clings to your now wide-open palms,
my chest tightens when you pray.

I feel weak in the knees at the thought of you.
So much so that it gets hard to move

Sometimes

I stop dead, wondering.

I hope that you don't think of me.
(I hope that you do)
I hope that you know what you've done.
(I hope I never let you)

That we don't speak is deafening.
That I don't scream, a wish.

Sometimes I worry that my thoughts will grow so loud and desperate that you'll hear them.
It's loud inside my head.

But now,
even my words are whispers
lost somewhere between my lips and a million
gray
miles.

I could have said those words a thousand times a day
I could have screamed them at the top of my lungs

I could have dropped them at your feet between my knees
Until the the words wrapped the city surrounding us
Like a present.

But you still would not have known how much I meant
"I love you."