i just wanna be skinny
is it too much to ask for?
to become nothing but skin and bones
is my greatest wish

i look in the mirror
and i hate everything that i see
and i think
that maybe if i was skinny
i wouldn’t hate myself nearly as much

sometimes
i wish i could just grab a knife
and carve away all of the fat
piece by piece
until i’m satisfied

oh how i wish
to be able to feel
every single rib
sharp hipbones and collarbones
a tiny arm that i could wrap my hand around

i want people to stare
to look at me and wonder how i did it
how i turned from this disgusting creature
into someone skinny who can do no wrong

i want to be so skinny that people start to worry
they’ll ask me if i’m okay
and i’ll smile and laugh and respond with a gentle “of course!”
to put their mind at ease

and later that night
i’ll lay in bed
smiling to myself
thinking of that comment
until i realize that it’s not enough

i’m not enough
i will never be enough
but maybe i can fool everyone else into thinking that i am
if only i were
skinny