I know better, but I've still been feeding the cycle.
It eats funny things.
Like.. Not eating..
Or alcohol
Or it swallows a **** whole..
Whatever it is..
It seems worth it at the time,
But when I look back, it feels like I got the short end of the stick.
Slender body for a mangled mind.
Cutting corners because I need it now.
If I don't feed it.
Then it taunts my pride.

"Stupid girl.

Disgusting cow

You have no control.

You don't deserve to be pretty if you can't control yourself..

What a joke, you actually thought that anyone could actually love you?

You knew deep down he was just using you.

So stupid.

Why don't you just shrivel up and die, you will never be able to get the only thing you want."

It crushes love with its verbal venom.

All the inspiration in the world could pass me by but I can't reach out because I put myself in cuffs.
Punishing myself for the love I was not able to achieve.

Longing.. aching..  wailing for another soul.

Another soul to cry about life's puddles with through intertwined limbs.


Another soul to start the cycle all over with..