You say that
"finding yourself" is
a stupid phrase and idea,
that you are yourself,
and if you don't make
yourself as you go,
what are you doing?

I guess that makes sense.

But have you ever lost yourself?
Maybe not, just lost sight
of your reflection,
and when you see you in a shop window
you're startled with the reminder that
you are a vessel.

But what about that vessel?
Is that you or is the inside you?
Are they the same?
One?

What about the outside?
How much of what you experience
is you? Does it blur together?

And can you separate your experiences
from your judgements, expectations?

What if you don't know?

I know that I'm-
No.
I know that I believe-
I don't.

Questions
over
Questions.
No one to answer them.
No one but me.

And what am I doing?
Searching, searching for answers
in me.
Staring into a candle flame
that flails and lashes out,
swiping at answers,
my answers.

I blow it out
and go to bed
lost,
in a dream I haven't had yet.