I have this

Problem

Where I want to experience

Everything.

But

Not in the way you

Think I mean

I want to feel the pain

To be abused

Drugged

Hurt

By myself

Or by others

Just to know

To truly know

What those people going through that

Feel

But I also

Want to be loved

Cared for

Happy

But I also want to be torn to pieces

Hurt

Demolished

Just scraps of a former self

And I'll have a choice

To give up or

To try again

And have to piece myself back together

Piece by piece

Or maybe even

Start anew

I want to be killed

Betrayed

Left for dead

But also

Saved

Reborn

And found.

Maybe I'm just

Crazy.