Sitting here alone in my chair.
Staring at two things so rare.
A Marlboro, which I never smoke.
And your screen name, which I can't invoke.
I click it on, and click it off.
Up comes the window, X makes it disappear.
I write long poems, I put in sad songs,
Only to close it out, cause the pain is so strong.
You sign off, maybe to go back to Lee.
I take a break, to walk it off.
I walk in your direction,
Maybe just maybe to see your reflection.
The rain falls as ice, not quite snow.
I let the tar fill me with hate.
You never show, so I walk back.
But in a way possibly to see you.
Call me a stalker, call me what you like.
But I think I'm a wanderer,
Walking in the dark, searching for the light.
You shine more than anything I know.
Watching you walk, float across the ground.
It's possible you’re the light,
But your light emanates from within.
You won't let me share that light,
At least not anymore.
You give your light out sparingly,
Right now to someone else,
But not all your light,
Not like you gave it to me.
Did I put out your fire?
Did I put out your flame?
I tried more than anything, to make it blaze.
I gave you everything, I gave you my soul.
Maybe that was wrong of me,
Maybe I shouldn't have tried so hard.
I'm just so afraid of loosing you,
So afraid of life without you.
I can live without you being my everything.
But you being my nothing, I cannot go on.
Best friends, we tried, but I think it can work.
We just need time apart, to let feelings subside
We need to be just friends, in the long run it'll work
Because right now, I feel that is.
I love you too much to just look at you,
And see just a friend.
And you either love, or are so used to me,
Being so much more to you, to do the same.
I can't tell if you lost your love,
Or if you ever loved at all.
When I asked you if you loved me,
You said you didn't want to hurt me.
Well saying that hurt me worst of all.
Hence why I said, ill make this easy for you.
And now I'm not sure if that was right of me to do.
But you needed to know, but you took it wrong.
You went to his place, and vented your anger.
I don't know what to do anymore rob.
It’s so hard not talking to you,
So hard not looking in your eyes.
They say time makes it easier,
But god it gets so much harder.
You have "him" to go to, when times are rough.
I go to my bed, with just the memory of your thought.
I hug teddy tight, he keeps me warm.
Because sometimes I can't control my emotions.
And the tears flow like waterfalls,
And I sob like a child.
Knowing your not even thinking of me,
Rather entertaining his wiles.
It’s so hard for me to understand,
We had so much, so much in our hands.
I gave you my heart, and you gave me a cold.
Just let me know, in some form or fashion.
You feel the way I do, your love was true.
I know he makes you happy, and I’m so glad.
The pain you've caused is nothing,
Nothing compared to your happiness.
It may not be safe to say,
But I have a secret I’ve been holding
For these past few days.
Just a few simple words,
When put together, mean more to me than gold.
I can't yell it to you, nor speak at normal tone.
Anything more than a whisper,
And the meaning looses its hold.
Silently now, listen close...
I love you.