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Feb 2013
trying to quiet the whispers in my mind
cannot distinguish them from the night
if I said I was happy I would be lying
you want me to try hard, but I'm hardly trying
so many pieces of me scattered I have lost sight
you will find me wherever the dark lies

I am no longer what you think of as okay, just ask the sharp blade
the path you laid out for me I have long since strayed
digging myself deeper, all that is me will now fade
the pain only growing stronger, knowing who I have betrayed
knowing you don't know me, but the person I portray
it was all a big mistake, but I know you are afraid and I can't blame you

I'm driving myself crazy with all my hollow tendencies
trying to bury my rage, but I am just endlessly pretending
time is running out, leaving me restlessly pacing
counting down the minutes, I should die eventuallyΒ Β 
that's what I find myself hoping for, it should make you smile especially
it doesn't matter, I never amounted to what you wanted me to be

you were always saying how that was all you wanted.
not to worry, when I go I will stay long gone.
whether I'm alive or dead you will forever be haunted.
and you have to live with what you did every waking dawn.
save for the nightmares, without you my life has been better than I had ever imagined.
without me you cry every time you hear that song.

falling asleep is a constant battle
I lose myself so strongly in remembering
that I forget to take a step back
the walls I've built are now a castle
the air so fresh I can finally breathe
my peace and serenity are a matter of fact
Shiloh
Written by
Shiloh  33/F/Oregon
(33/F/Oregon)   
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