I ate eggs and toast for breakfast
no butter
no salt
no jam
no jelly
not because I want to
but because I have to

I worked out for 2 hours straight
crunches
lunges
sit ups
squats
I only had one meal today
so dizzy but I keep going
no, because I want to
but because I have to

I wore a crop top
filled my face with makeup
but in my earring
and curled my hair
time to go out with my friends
I'm tired
my body hurts
but I still go
not because I want to
but because I have to

there are rumors being spread about me
they say
I'm a *****
a liar
a fake
they call me
ugly
stupid
f
a
t
I defend myself
helplessly
not because I want to
but because I have to

I'm sad
I'm angry
no one cares
they hate
me
wasted time
wasted life
**** yourself
they say
I've done what they told me too so far
so why stop now
so I stepped in front of the car
not because I wanted to
but because i had to