each time i hear you
echoing somewhere deep
in the dark of my heart
it feels like a betrayal
a smile at first then freeze
feel memories slither
whisper pain into the peace
you never made decisions
to hurt me purposely
but i wonder if you heard me
in the hallway of your heart
opening doors to hidden things
you might not want to feel

was i an angel after
or before the ceiling shifted
and broken conversations
took up all our time

i know i never was much
but you are here still
echoing harshly
and i ask myself "when"
pin the pain down interrogate it
for an expiration date label it
box it up and say goodbye
to the demon i love deeply
even if love is inaccurate
and full of lies

and overanalysis decomposes
the conversations we have
watch memories rot
i open a message you sent
and let it fester
as if empty friendship
could silence the echoing
of the way i once felt

so every time i hear you
echo somewhere deep
i don't ask you when or why
or how your day was
or if i am still an angel hiding
my wings behind your heart

i let you echo til it dies
and pause to analyze
until the pain is purposeless
and i pay it no mind