I’m okay with being hated
Because it’s the only thing I know
And I promise I won’t cry
If you tell me when you go
It just gets harder when you leave
Without offering goodbye
And when the silence consumes me
I have no answer as to why

Sometimes I think the things I see
Are only in my head
A balm to cover my weakness
As I lay upon my bed
A salve for my soul, if there’s any of it left
If only I was courageous enough
I could pray for death.

But everything I see is a reflection of my bones
White against the background of the place I lay alone
A violent recognition of the one I claim to be
And the reconciliation of which part of it is me.

Sometimes I start to wonder if the silence that I keep
Only exists because I need my mind to fall asleep
The loneliness, the cold, the things that I protest about
Are there because I brought them there, I’d be nothing without.