i will run. with desperation and a hint of absolute dread. you're bad for me. you always will be.

always.

but my heart is addicted to the rejection. it's like a drug that keeps it beating. not steadily and not with any real meaning.

but i digress.

you know the painful nights? the nights that whimper in your arms like a wounded animal? hold me like those nights, even if it's just to get me to the morning.

comfort me.

i don't know how else to murmur my love to the ones i want to hate than through morse code and slow blinks from across the room.

however.

on the days that seem a little rounder in the middle, robust even, i'll forget maybe, about how soft the air felt when you slept next to me. i'll forget that the night ahead is going to howl like a haunt watching her love die.

but i digress.