I don't know who else to talk to... I see a shrink but I can't even spill, I got so many things to say but when it comes down to it the words and thoughts don't escape my lips, The heaviness of the load is hard to carry, The only time I can release is in the dark under the moonlight, I walk outside, stare at the sky have lonely conversations with myself, I feel so lost, I have no will to even try to get myself out, I look at myself now and I don't know who I am... I don't like what I see, I don't even recognize the reflection the stares upon me, I can't even see the me before all of this, I've gone so far that I can't even reach the old me, The infinity of the nothingness I feel is quickly devouring me, I contemplated suicide almost everyday, The only reason that I stay is because I'm not that selfish, I wanna die, I want to so bad but now I'm bound and I cannot go thru with it, I cannot leave my baby with the emptiness Her father left me with after his death, I grit my teeth and bare the weight, My bones are slowly crushing, But I can't leave my baby girl with the pain and hopelessness my passing will implant within