Daddy’s doing better now ..not yelling quite as much .,not telling me to sit at home alone and such ..he no longer yells about the small things that never really mattered ..he just simply hints that he knows I can do better ..he still stays at home a lot alone cause I’m not there but now he doesn’t even show that he even really cares
I want to spend time with him and make things better for us ..but I always ***** things up instead and then things are all a mess ..I try to be better and not be gone so much but I hate to be at home afraid I might mess up. I do not want to make him mad again when things for him are well  ..I wish I could crawl into a shell and lock myself away from him ..it’s a living hell
I want a better relationship ..a father daughter one ..where we can be together not in two different rooms but one. i need him to be there for me ..I need to know he cares .. i need to see the things about me that he cannot bear ..so I sit here all alone and i wait for him to share ..to open up to me.. this isn’t fair..I guess I will continue to wait for him, to need me in some way.. daddy’s doing better now ..without me, Sad to say