It was my second time falling in the tub desperate for an answer to come from you. It’s already been two months, but my mind makes me feel like it’s been years. I just shrug trying to hold onto the walls for support. I yearned for a hug, a meaningful one. The truth is I don’t feel loved. I don’t know why but I just do. What hurts me more is seeing you be happy and smile with her and knowing that I’ll never be able to make you happy like that. I want to be there. I want to be a lover. I want to make sure you know your loved. But you wouldn’t do that for me. While I’m on all four crying in the bathroom floor I scream “get up! In a way to tell myself that I need to move on. You were the one to say “I’ll take to you later”, that was two months ago. The last thing I can remember so far is the smiley face you wrote on my hand. I saved it on paper so that I can remember it and to one day burn it. Now that’s how I’ll remember you. Your hurt me and I took it. I knew what would happen and I did it. That’s how much I love you. My mental health is nothing compared to my love for you. But I’ll come to mind and heart and realize your toxic and leave. (I got up from the floor)