I have gone over how it ended over and over in my head and I have come to a shocking realization. Its not my fault. I gave that part of my life my everything but it ending was not my fault. I rearranged the alphabet to but I and U together but somewhere along the way I out U before I. That is my fault. With everything thats been going on with me physically and emotionally, that is the worst thing I could have done. I had put you and your happiness before me and my basic medical needs time and time again. Can we just talk about how ****** that is? I put someone else’s happiness above my own health. I can remember times where I would be having heart problems but I kept quiet as to not impose on her fun. I stopped doing so much of what I loved in order to do what she loved. None of this is her fault, these are choices I made. Thats the issue. I made these choices. I put U before I. But now im going to go back and make this **** alphabetically correct and put I before U. Thats how it always should have been.