I told you I would write about us.
About that night
And I know you know which one
It was the “firsts” of many
First time seeing each other
In half a year
Second time in almost three
You looked different,  older
And I suppose you were
Did I to you
Surely I must have
If only the difference
Was my delirious outspoken state

I was with you but all I could think of was about
Me
What did you think of me?
Why did you come to see me?
Did you like the touch
Of my skin
In the same way I liked yours?
“ what are you thinking?”
I asked
But meant about me

Have I always been this self consumed?
Can I answer the same questions about you?
Your hands in mine
I can answer some

I like your distinctive yet
sedate aura
You were rare
  A secret
To the industrial world
Your hand in mine
Your touch was reticent
And yet  irresolute
If embracing were a race, you
Would have let me win
If I was a stride
You were a step
And two steps behind
It would’ve been
I wanted you
To run at my pace
But I was scared
So we stayed in place

I was in control
But I couldn’t take it there
I couldn’t give you my soul
Contrite I would say sorrowful words
For reasons I didn’t quite understand
Maybe it has to do with all the questions
I couldn’t answer that I asked you
As you held my hands

Questions that I would have you answer me
Or maybe I know I couldn’t concede
To everything you may want in me
Because deep down I think I know
This wasn’t meant to be

Then it hits
That thing
It goes by the name
Reality
Those steps taken forward
Can’t be retraced
And I’m glad
You weren’t running at my pace

This will have to end
I don’t know how or
Even if
It will ever begin again
So I say the words
“I’m sorry”
And you tell me I have no reason to be
But you don’t know what it is
Those words actually mean.