This thinning wall of my heart has searched for healing  over and over again.
Behind smiling eyes is a burning sadness.
Fake a smile, sing a song, fool them all.
I have a sunny disposition but a dark dark soul.
The louder I laugh, the harder I’m crashing.
Some days I wish to stay inside and never feel the sun on my skin.
Unaware of my own  adversity.
Unaware of the negative energy pervading the minds of those around me.
Wallowing in what feels like a bad dream.
When this beautiful life awaits on the other side.
Tiny voices bursting loud with laughter.
Calling one of my many names.
Reaching toward this twinging heart.
With joy never so pure.
But all the while,  the darkness waits in the shadows to consume me.
I try to run away.
A shrug of the shoulders to push the pain down.  Build a happy wall. They won’t see me break.
But buried within my eyes, the lonely girl lives inside.