I realized
I do a lot of dumb things
That hurt me more than anything
For little to no reason

This weekend camping by itself
I’ve blistered my hands
I fell on my back swinging on a pull-up bar
Because I was careless.

Other than that, I cut myself every night,
I put off work unnecessarily
And I let myself love people.
Carelessly.

Over
And over
And over.
Every time,

I pour my everything into them
And they play along with it
Until they decide
They’re over me.

And **** man,
Let me tell you.
Heartbreak can be a major cause
To carelessness

Because in that moment,
Your world comes crashing down.
And you don’t care about anything
Except for them.

So when they leave,
You
Have
Nothing.

I’m even doing it again
Right now.
Falling for people
Who don’t give a **** about me.