Feb 2019
And even if everything fell,
It was the most graceful fall there ever was
Eyes were woven from nothing
And teeth ripped open flesh
It lay bleeding in streets
Hollowed out in seconds' time
Though what is not already hollow I'll never know.
But if the heart of my heart is a void I felt the caress of everything,
And life and language fell between my arms
And clarity never eluded me once
And not a piece of everything, but the whole thing came to me
Once exactly,
And its curvature and shapes will be lost forever, but not right now
Because I am here, exercising this pen
Beware Satan of my great ictus, for I am 24 and virile
I am not low but I am an obscure celebrity
And so are you
I am angry, frustrated with the legal system.
You uphold negative laws
You let people's lives become dilapidated out of ignorance and poor governance,
You hurt my outlook on the world but I am a lucky one
I am lucky to possess the traits I do
I rebel against the depression you have perhaps ignorantly set on my back
And my anger does not disqualify me from being reasonable, there are good reasons I am upset with them.
But it was the most graceful fall, even if I became derailed
Eyes were woven from nothing
I was born in a place called America
It was confusing and loud
It all exploded before I was born
It grabbed me by the ankle
It put handcuffs on me
It threw me in a jail cell and said **** it up kid
It said maybe that's why you changed,
It lauded itself on its court program perched atop a broken system
It labeled me a criminal and poisoned my future.
But it was the most graceful fall,
There were good people and hospitality
Doctors and good cops, good moments
There was an Earth with humans and they breathed and felt the world with human detail inside their impossible minds
There were corrections made, hard to take but right for everyone in the end
I didn't try to be an *******,
It just happened,
But I fixed it,
And now I want my money
And a big bag of ****.
It was the most graceful fall there ever was
Eyes were woven from nothing
And teeth ripped open flesh
It lay bleeding in streets
Hollowed out in seconds' time
Though what is not already hollow I'll never know.
But if the heart of my heart is a void I felt the caress of everything,
And life and language fell between my arms
And clarity never eluded me once
And not a piece of everything, but the whole thing came to me
Once exactly,
And its curvature and shapes will be lost forever, but not right now
Because I am here, exercising this pen
Beware Satan of my great ictus, for I am 24 and virile
I am not low but I am an obscure celebrity
And so are you
I am angry, frustrated with the legal system.
You uphold negative laws
You let people's lives become dilapidated out of ignorance and poor governance,
You hurt my outlook on the world but I am a lucky one
I am lucky to possess the traits I do
I rebel against the depression you have perhaps ignorantly set on my back
And my anger does not disqualify me from being reasonable, there are good reasons I am upset with them.
But it was the most graceful fall, even if I became derailed
Eyes were woven from nothing
I was born in a place called America
It was confusing and loud
It all exploded before I was born
It grabbed me by the ankle
It put handcuffs on me
It threw me in a jail cell and said **** it up kid
It said maybe that's why you changed,
It lauded itself on its court program perched atop a broken system
It labeled me a criminal and poisoned my future.
But it was the most graceful fall,
There were good people and hospitality
Doctors and good cops, good moments
There was an Earth with humans and they breathed and felt the world with human detail inside their impossible minds
There were corrections made, hard to take but right for everyone in the end
I didn't try to be an *******,
It just happened,
But I fixed it,
And now I want my money
And a big bag of ****.
I volunteer.
I don't care what you think about this exceptionally crazy poem.
Oh if you were wondering I got upset about life and threw rocks at this train station LED sign because life was being difficult, as it often gets, and I know that's not a good response and I totally agree that warrants a punishment but that was 2 1/2 years ago. I would have done a year in jail but I did this court program because they said they'd take the felony down. I dont think I deserve to be a felon for that!! I have changed, unmedicated, on my own, and have always known I would change. I used to break things when I got upset and argue but now I don't. And trust me, I was trying to. I would have fixed it on my own.
It's really more age and the need to be independent and make money that motivate me than the legal system. They have messed up my stuff several times, for example a false ***** test and sending me to jail for 2 days forgetting two therapy appointments, not believing I am invested in therapy... I know these things sound small. There is more, it's a long story.
I always wanted to change. I just ****** up while I was starting to do a little better.
I guess people would doubt that. I'm totally just venting here, it's late at night. But whatever, it's out there for people to see if they want.
I don't care what you think about this exceptionally crazy poem.
Oh if you were wondering I got upset about life and threw rocks at this train station LED sign because life was being difficult, as it often gets, and I know that's not a good response and I totally agree that warrants a punishment but that was 2 1/2 years ago. I would have done a year in jail but I did this court program because they said they'd take the felony down. I dont think I deserve to be a felon for that!! I have changed, unmedicated, on my own, and have always known I would change. I used to break things when I got upset and argue but now I don't. And trust me, I was trying to. I would have fixed it on my own.
It's really more age and the need to be independent and make money that motivate me than the legal system. They have messed up my stuff several times, for example a false ***** test and sending me to jail for 2 days forgetting two therapy appointments, not believing I am invested in therapy... I know these things sound small. There is more, it's a long story.
I always wanted to change. I just ****** up while I was starting to do a little better.
I guess people would doubt that. I'm totally just venting here, it's late at night. But whatever, it's out there for people to see if they want.
