Untitled Document. What a strange set of words, that speaks to me oh so completely, like the druid doth a bird. Now, I get quite lost in words such as these, for I know not what i am either. But the fact that i can help you, Untitled Document, means quite a bit to me. Means i can, form and shape you, and make you as I please. Tell you the stories of your brothers and sisters, who already have great success in this world. But what will you be? That is a question, i truly sit here and ponder, for i think i know half your destiny as it is! You were created to be special, for success! And I know, Good Mr. Document, you’ll make it in this world, all you need is a few more t’s, maybe the word flower, leave you alone for a minute or two, up to an hour. And keep crafting my most special mix i have yet to make. Writing is easy, all you need to know is how to bake.
Orphan. This word makes the least sense of all to me, to never “make sense”, to not quite “belong”. Because even when i was getting beaten by my dad, or hit by my stepmom, i knew still there was love, just a lot of hurt feelings. My words can be like venom, and now I do see clearly, what’s it like. Because life moves on. Dad gave up, found a new wife, new Mom. But i guess i don’t belong in that picture perfect family. Way too many issues, even talking to me seems to be a calamity. So i got kicked to the curb, tossed aside like a mutt. But i still realize the love, he didn't wanna give up. But my Aunt, wonderful lady, told me things, that forever freeze my heart. Made me realize i was just a lost kid, orphan, right from the start. Mom is afraid to see me, scared i'll start a fight. And, like he does with girls, this Christmas he took her side.
Suicide. Standing between life and death isn’t fun. Joke’s over, we laughed, but now can this be done? I’m tired of hating myself, while doing nothing wrong. My god, if this keeps up, one shot with this revolver and I'll be gone. It’s confusing, walking the valley of death. Putting on a brave face, so no one thinks your scared. I’ve done it all before. Don’t think your alone, or that i love you, you disgusting *****! Sorry… Sometimes, i just get angry, and scared, and lonely, and Jesus ******* Christ! This is what you wanted, wasn’t it? For me to be exposed, to feel lost, and hopeless. Well, I got what you deserve, you miserable wretch! Now leave me be, as I pull out the gun, **** it, two shots in my head will put me back in my place. ******* God, I’m like a rabbit running the turtles race. History says I’ll lose, but I believe if I believe, for it’s too late, to turn back, and run, cry, that perhaps I have an infinitesimal, that means almost ******* impossible chance… To live. To laugh. To love. To be happy. To be wanted. To want. To breath. To breath.
To breath.
And THUS, i begin!