You followed Julie
in and out
of book shops
along Charing Cross Road

watching
as she picked out
a book to view
a few pages

or run a thin finger
down the book’s spine
studying her face
as she took out

a Sartre or Wittgenstein
her eyes running
along the lines
mouthing the big words

she talking
of her parents
the doctors
how they were pretty much

shot out of the sky
when they discovered
she was stabled up
in some hospital wing

for drug plunging
or pill popping
and you should have seen
my mother’s face

she said
like daddy
had ****** her ****
she picked out

a book by Schopenhauer
the old philosopher’s face
on the cover
staring out

you searched her eyes
the depth of them
the colour
the changing hue

from what appeared
green to blue
and green again
or so it seemed

when have you got
to be back
in the hospital?
you asked

6pm or so
she muttered
pushing the book back
on the shelf

wiping her hands
on her jeans
her small ****
indicating their presence

as she moved
toward you
what are your parents
going do about you?

you asked
keep out of sight
of their posh friends
say I’m abroad

or someplace else
you noticed her lips
as she spoke
her tongue

moving over them
like some waking snake
then she moved on and out
of the shop

and along the road
you kept up beside her
sensing her hand
seeking yours

taking one
of your fingers
she put it
to her mouth

and gave a ****
and eyed you
sideways on
with that grin

she sometimes wore
that young middle class
English  girl
playing the *****.