selfish
that’s definitely it
i don’t know if i can help it
my first thought is
how will this effect us

second thought is,
i don’t want you to leave me

you need to get better
i know because
if we compiled all of your
suicide letters,
i’m sure we’d have a book

one day, youre going to be
more scar than skin
and i’m afraid that
your self destruction
is going to win

i’m afraid that one day
you won’t be here anymore
no more late summer nights
or cold mornings where all i can
feel is you you you under the blankets
and my skin; you are everywhere all at once. you are in my clothes and my blankets and i keep finding bits and pieces of u in my journal.
youre even in my dreams

no more muddled i love yous
or standing in the rain until
your nose is cold just because
we like the way it smells

no more waking up to you
no more you dude
i don’t think you understand
your impact
how deeply you are loved
there is a crater in my chest
and if you were gone
i don’t think it could ever be full again

it’s selfish to want someone to get better
because u don’t want them to leave
to die
to wither away and decompose until
all i have left of u is a stupid bracelet
and the smell of your hoodie

i don’t want you to go
but you can’t stay
you can’t continue on like this
we can’t keep playing pretend like
you might not **** yourself tomorrow

you need to get better
i just don’t want things
to change with us
even if they have to