I need an escape
I need a saving grace
But every time I find one

A new safe haven
A new happy place
They trail behind
With whips and maces

Always on the ready
‘Don’t hang out with that person’
Why? Because they know how to help me?
They know how to save me?

Maybe I can blast music
Drown out those thoughts
Say what I can’t
Be my mouthpiece

A snip of the earbuds
Sends me right out of this one
Maybe if you’d listen to the lyrics
You would understand

Because my music says what I can’t
About me, about my feelings.
But no, I’ve gotta be ready
To take every single command

So snip goes the buds
And goodbye goes the friends
Maybe I can find solace with strangers
Where I can be any me I want to be

The internet, a lovely place
Nobody has to know the real you
Work together towards a common goal
No matter how diverse.

Sure, some may come off as toxic
But the internet is my home
I can make friends
Nope.

Away goes the consoles and up goes the phone
Because by golly if I were to be influenced
By anyone other than the high and mighty thee
That’d just be a disaster

Don’t do this to me
I’m running out of places to hide
Just a few remain
I’ll hide away again

This time behind the reflective blade of a kitchen knife
I need an escape
I need a distraction
I need a saviour

So I cut
Slices in my skin
Because then
I know what’s hurting me

And I’d rather be the one
To hurt myself
Than to let any one person
To hurt me.

But what will I do?
When eventually,
You take this happy place away?
Will I go somewhere more twisted?

Old perscriptions
And alcohol?
Those could work
A new ‘happy place’

Until the inevitable
Until I lose those
And I doubt it’d be long
Some things you can’t hide.

And when I have nowhere to run
Nowhere to hide
I’ll always have one option left
The trusty hangman’s knot

And I’ll end it all.

Because dead men need not to hide
They need not to run
Because they have escaped
They have been set free.

Maybe one day I’ll free myself.
One day I’ll Escape