i just want to sit at the bottom of that pool
the floor to ceiling windows letting in the sunlight
and i'll watch as the light shimmers on the tile
the waves a kaleidoscope of memories
and it projects in front of me
some are beautiful in a certain kind of way
i'll tell myself that i can breathe
that i'm where i belong
and i'll sit there
in a state of euphoria
in a state of delirium
and float like an astronaut in space
and before i realize it's too late
my lungs stop working
and i'm where i need to be