Jealousy used to be a girl with puppy eyes and braided hair.
She lurks around the dark side of the room
Waiting for someone to notice but they kept on denying her existence.
Jealous? No.
That’s all she could hear.
‘Til she grew bigger. She now has longer nails, no... claws.
Her messy curls showed up after taking off her braids.
Longer limbs and shorter temper. She screams loud.
By the back of her head, she wanted to be noticed.
She crawled around the whole room. Asking for attention.
And I noticed her. So is the name she whispers in my ear.
The sound is not loud now, but deafening.
It didn’t have sharp edges, but it cut me through.
That, did not made me bleed and cry. It did not make me weak, or so I thought.
But made me furious. She’s slowly reaching out for my hand. I had doubts but, I reached back to her. She stood, emotionless, while I unconsciously threw a plate across the room. I cried. But not in agony. In anger. For sure. I can feel flames rushing through my veins like a waterfall.
Jealousy is like a monster under the empty bed for so long that it learned how to dream.
Jealousy is like termites, slowly chewing off the walls where I used to carve our names with a small blade, I used to use to cut myself.
Jealousy is a box of “What If’s”
A box full of surprises and one of them... called, “assumptions”
Assumptions you thought were visions of the negative things.
Negative things you’re scared to happen. Or even to think about.
Jealousy thought your fear how to grow bigger.
They’re friends now.
And every walk she makes, Jealousy brought along Fear.
They try to pay you visits in your room, that you seem to stay a lot in now. This is the room where I used to watch cartoons and once fell from the rope you tied on the ceiling. It wasn’t that strong. The rope, the ceiling, and me.
It used to be just short visits, now they got themselves their own sofa bed lying next to your queen-sized mattress.
But I wanted them to leave.
As I see him packing his bags and opening the bathroom door to get his toothbrush.
I wanted them to leave.
But Jealousy invited a guest.
Jealousy invited Pride.
He left//