love just isn't an option anymore
no matter how many people I put first I'm always put second.
call it bad timing or misfortune
but I am a crutch
a backup plan
the left over
never good enough
never wanted  
and I wish I could be,
for the people I love and for myself too.
and all these thoughts still bring me back to the same night
in my alley way, three summers ago when the first boy to ever make me a promise and break it told me I wasn't good enough
and said goodbye before I could catch my breath.
its the same winded feeling I feel to this day.
that constant hole in my chest
the lack of equally returned love