Crazy Nancy would braid
a thousand ribbons in her hair
Into town she would raid
on her yellow bike with no care

She'd never mind her p's and q's
She'd laugh obnoxiously loud
It was sheer etiquette abuse
She was the talk of every crowd

Nancy would drink bottles of gin and soda
then burp out a melody
She'd get drunk and impersonate Yoda
then get condemned for heresy

All the old ladies would grumble
"How Manner-less!" "How Vile!"
Out of their mouths would stumble
"She must have been such an awful child!"

She'd spend her days daydreaming
and cooking in her underwear
She'd hear the old ladies screaming
but Crazy Nancy never did care

The other girls were all prim and proper
but Crazy Nancy was plain wild
There was no old lady who could stop her
or tame Nancy to be a little mild

Don't be like Crazy Nancy
She must have surely lost her way
She'll never live a life that's fancy
is what all the old ladies would say

So the old ladies stuck us into straitjackets
Prim and proper women we became
to fit tightly into their rigid brackets
while Nancy was the only one who was truly sane