Driving home
I swerved to avoid a dead cat
lying in the road.

It was raining,
but my speed was low
and no other cars were around.

While it did not change the outcome,
it was the right thing to do.

Once, after money had changed hands
and guarantees were given,
I found myself in a high desert gulch
choking a dog to death
with a leash pulled through a fence.

Gasping and afraid,
still full of love.

Having never before
hurt something beautiful,
screaming apologies
at an empty backseat kennel
was new to me.

If it were human,
mail would still arrive at the doorstep
while he laid among the river
rocks and cactus.

But I can't go to the better place
everyone says we go.
Drag it back home
make things right again.

Perhaps this is why,
years later
I finally found peace
the moment hands wrapped my throat