I wanted to love you forever
I wanted to think you were gorgeous for the rest of my life
I would grease my hand with ******
For it to explode at your very touch
So you would know how privileged I was to be with you
I would sit still for you forever
If it meant you would only look at me
.......for the rest of your life.
I wanted to give you my patience
And learn how to cook with you,
I would let you do my washing up,
And start fires in the bedroom.
I would learn how to be happy
And to not to take you for granted
I would learn to stop, and just be, me.
I wanted to take you to places you had never been
And that isn’t a metaphor
I wanted to write these poems for you
Because it would show you how much I loved you
Yet it was more than love, and whatever that is.
I wanted to show you off to the world
Be proud of you for the rest of my days
I wanted to make you better than you ever thought you could ever be
Make you believe you were worth it,
Worth the wait
Worth me.
I wanted to wake up for a thousand mornings and bring you tea
I wanted to wake up every morning for the rest of my life
And watch you sleep
And think ‘I could never love anyone as much as love you right now’
And find it all hard to breathe,
Even if you had snored all night long.
I wanted to get in a car with you and drive without a map
Get lost, take wrong directions and laugh about it later,
Drive around a roundabout 3 times because it was ‘our’ thing
I wanted to make a lot of things with you.
I wanted to split open my chest and show you
How very much my heart beat just for you
How this very muscle that keeps me alive
Is in love with you
And you are my life-long support machine.
I wanted to kiss the end of your nose every evening
And tell you, ‘you are the most beautiful thing,
In the entirety of the universe’
I wanted to tell you that your very essence,
Your very ****** soul and your being
Is my entire reason for living
My entire reason for waiting for you,
For my entire lifetime and its worth.
I want to make moments and minutes
And pictures and laughter
I wanted midnight walks down empty beaches
I wanted forever and ever
I wanted happily ever after.
I wanted a lifetime of lifetimes.
I wanted always and always.
Til the end of time.
But you ****** it up.
Really
If I’m honest....