Lay me down
on a bed of roses

a coffin surrounded by
white jasmine and sunflowers

well I feel
I walked on thorns and prickly words
my whole life

it's been tough a bit
here and there
okay, maybe all the time
but life's like that right?
struggles are supposed to shape the strong person
you become
right?  

I've never really known
how to deal with
my problems created by
other people's problems and dreams
and aspirations

a dream? I can't recall what that is
anymore; I stopped a long time ago

just kidding; that's a blatant lie
for I dream everyday for a new life
or a new beginning,
or the end if nothing else is possible

one of the most recurring dreams
that play out in my head
like a black and white movie
in a run down, empty cinema

is me sitting up in bed,
realizing I don't have to let other people
effect me,
don't have to listen to them
tell me what kind of person I need to be
or all the things I need to do

if only I could just
think infinitely greater than how I feel,
if I could just stop
living in my emotions and the past
that is present in every habit and routine thing
that I do,

sometimes all the potential
a person may have
becomes too much for them
to bear,
all the endless possibilities
and visions of things carrying out differently
all tangled up with events from the past

as if my emotions and experiences
morphed into the form of a cage
in which my mind is trapped,
shaking the metal bars
and screaming out the barred window

only to fail completely
in noticing that
by simply walking around those bars,
I would be free

I suppose the coffin I lay in now
is not my final one,
for is it not that at some point
we all have to let ourselves
experience the emptiness of death
for a while,
so after we reemerge
we could know to appreciate
how it feels to be alive?