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A Pleasant Surprise

Eggs, eggs, toss them high in the air

Catch em, and gargle, and mash them, and swear

Eat them with shells, eat them with sauce

Eat them with bags, eat them with moss

 

Eggs, eggs, between sandwich bread

That's what the wise elderly miller had said

Before came the bomb and he had dropped dead

Before being poisoned by a surplus of lead

 

And then came a centipede, long and sanguine

And bit a small child, so recently weaned

Off the protein derived from his mother's fine eggs

So he had to start munching on his mother's fine legs

 

"Be warned" said the Miller, his hair all askew

While dousing his wounds with mountains of glue

A tapeworm emerged, and looked toward the sky

Feeling envy toward all the birds that could fly

 

But the Miller was quicker, even in old age

He smacked the worm soundly, in a manner enraged

Bruised from the damage, and covered in glue

The worm turned away from the sky that was blue

 

Never with pelicans would he fly with delight

Never with owls would he soar through the night

For all Darwin's cruelty, an injustice rings

Tapeworms simply have no need for wings

 

So he bit the old Miller, and laid ten thousand eggs

They hatched and devoured his liver and legs

And as the man writhed, waiting to die

He vomited upward, up toward the sky

 

The tapeworm went flying, up toward the clouds

The air felt exhilarating, the rushing wind loud

For once in his life, he soared with the birds

Then in came a swallow, and bit off a third

 

His body, segmented, fell in parts to the ground

Tears seeped from his eyes, his face in a frown

From the ground he gazed up into the ominous fog

Before being lapped up by an unlucky dog

 

The End

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Written by
inverse-zebra
Published
Jan 19, 2013
Lines·Words
37·309
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