Such a simple fear that has turn my word upside down
To this day I’m left in constant awareness of
My actions
Making sure I do not fail
To reawaken you
Again
It’s so hard to sleep at night
Knowing that you’re inside me
Waiting for the right moment to
Emerge from your slumber
To terrify me
Leave me
In the corner of my room
Crying helplessly
Because I did everything in my will
To fight, but still manage to fail
I fought a long hard battle
I’ve won so far, but lost greatly in this conflict
My future is uncertain
I must live somewhat of a mediocre lifestyle
Since I was a child
The moment the sun disappeared
The darkness starts lurking around me
Leaching on my back
Why is it always night time you love tormenting me?
My answer, you were born at night
I can still remember that night
On this day
Of this month
You made your appearance more vivid to me
I saw you as an infant, but I paid no attention to you  

I remember waking up in fear
Confused because I had no idea of what was happening
Suddenly my heart starts racing fast
My breath becomes short
Panic starts to take over and you begin to
Dance in joy
Laughing at me because I can’t do nothing about it
Then you make yourself present
By ripping out of my mouth
Spreading around the ground
Coming to life
Just to mock me & make my life a living hell for the next 8 years and maybe so on
I’m tired of bandaging
You up,
Just for you to sleep peacefully
While I live a everyday nightmare
My health is unbalance
Consuming to much
Medicine to stay sane, but in reality
I’m going insane
Unable to sleep at night
Always in constant fear
My body is weak of carelessly bandaging you to sleep
I want to give up
I want to sleep peacefully
And not wake up
Knowing I did something wrong without me realizing it
I just want the fight to be over
And not live in constant fear
Watching myself consistently
For mistakes
The soul is willing, but the body needs rest
How long before I go mental?
I yet to have comfort in my life
A helping hand that tells me
Everything is okay
Writing this even saddens me
Because I yet to see hope
Not evening my loving mother
Has provided me with this
I yet to have someone or something to comfort me at night time
To rock me to sleep in harmony
Or even help me fight you
I’m so tired
So sleepy
My eyes hurt
From the lack of sleep
My mind even plays tricks on me
Falsely waking me at night
In fear that you escaped from me
I hate it
I don’t adore it
I frown upon its coming
Because I have half the mind of giving up
I have nothing else to say…
All I can do is  
Wait until I fail
So you can finish what you started
Maybe giving in isn’t so bad…
Maybe it can be a start of something descent
Until then
I must live in constant fear
In shock
Paranoia
Depression
Unable to bandage up because of the fear of
Falling asleep
And never waking up…