I need to be alone
so that I can feel this.
I have an ache to ache,
Do you get it?
Can you feel the pain that's building through my lack of feeling?
It's waiting to engulf me and it's tainting my judgement of time,
entertainment and beauty.

The independence I long for stretches me thin.
My lust for love has now been shown in the light
and I feel that I've realized I wanted nothing more
than to feel wanted, needed, and cared for.
That maybe love isn't what I was missing.

I know that I don't know
and that I'm learning more every day.
I just hope that these feelings of disgust dissipate
and through that which I overcome helps me to create.