I should've guessed by the nondescript response teenagers glazed by 'proper' use of language; 'old-speak' as some would see it yet to be blessed by a words prowess fazed by more than 1 syllable seems inconceivable and yet text-speak sits, or rather, should be, languish, as a hybrid of our languages prompts me to write this out of plain literary anguish.
each year on birthdays write a small poem or limerick the momentary excitement of opening the card is lapsed by reason (it does not contain a £20 note) the thought bubble denotes they express some disdain the speech bubble that follows the spark in the brain just another of Uncles gimmicks lacking the imagination to invoke something more personal than a hardback book: another 200 recipes for the aspiring young cook
they implied they enjoyed lunchtimes at school instead wanted an iPad or something equally expensive and cool
So I try to embrace it this thing they call urban write something poetic in text-speak the very premise of it is somewhat disturbing the infinite curve of learning LOLs from actual LOLS; the mobile language equivalent of online voyeurs, the posters of nonsense, noobs and trolls
apparently a ROFL is more-or-less as potent as **** I scratch my head in wonder text-speak is used by millions to converse on a global scale some how
Q: does SUM exist (as in 'shut ur mouth' ) is that acceptable?
A: not yet cordially invited on the list (its an actual word doesn't count as an acronym) Im told
the coal face of the lexicon: indigestible the steep learning curve: unpredictable
by your 30s its automatically re-classified: Congratulations You are now officially 'Old'
we are merely wordsmith pedestrians lost in the tide of text-speak equestrians jumping and leaping and rolling in SETE and S2R's are we binned as an S4L, the Spam For Life? (perhaps I haven't got that abbreviation quite right)
in the context of text-speak they are suitably troll-like in their essence forgive me dear teenager I am but a SNAG in your presence:
'Sensitive' (on occasion) 'New Age' and 'Grown-up' (given the right persuasion)
the riposte would be SUYF!! ('Shut Up You Fool' - said like MR. T in A-Team) STM and Spank The Monkey apologise, SOZ, SRY and Apls or something equally short, snappy and funky
at this juncture before the brain has a puncture simply BBFN, lest I BBS or BBIAB or BBIAF [thankfully this isn't a test]
like WCA (Who Cares Anyway) but you'd remark WAI (and thats I for Idiot) let out a long distance sigh wave the imaginary fist at the youth of yesteryear
all you'd get back was Wicked Evil Grin (WEG) for a Wild *** Guess (WAG); a WEG for a WAG and a PDQ x 2
would be the sum parts of the conversation between me and you
if language and words and meaning was lost if acronyms and abbrieviations in CAPS was all that there was
*** smeared in *** with APLS for the PMJI TXT SPK has got me PML when MHBFY and M8s on a MOB crusade AWOL and dizzy for the next API MGB for your MF device throw in some GALGAL logic where GIGO will simply suffice Warning: PAW and GJIAGDV (where the latter is Volcano) include your GF for some cuddly GBH and some GHP if she says so
its T2Go be positive with the T+ and all of that Text-Speak CUZ I'll T2UL and T for your time, I'll TAH on the whole TBC
next year i'll just slip in a £20 note and simply write: Happy Birthday with LV from me
I have a disdain for text-speak as a replacement for language but it seems the only way to converse with teenage cousins on mobile, so I wrote this in response to that.