I'm having a hard time saying anything
but exactly what I mean.
Enough time alone can do that to you
I'm sure other things can do that to you too.
Like reading bleak poems
broken up by tales of deranged love
and relationships based on *** and abusive chemical indulgence

I have a hard time saying what I mean
indirectly
leaving thoughts open to interpretation
is difficult
when you forget why
abstraction or
subtlety
is important
and why
that makes such small things as
wasting away
in a fog of alcohol, smoke, and temporary loves
so ****** beautiful
and so ****** ugly.