(lesson taught during the foggy night
of December 29th, 2018)

Right there on the driver side
front seat of locked car
(2009 Hyundai Sonata
if that adds mar
soup pea el uber lyft, heft,
distraction, et cetera),

but may as well
bajillion miles afar
happened to mocking me
braking means to
mosey along tar
nation (albeit via four wheels),

plus access to apartment impeded,
yes which plight found
yours truly ajar
to concern lest a kick
starter prowler burglar,
and ransack maybe even hotwire

sole mode of locomotion lowering bar
on being a lunkhead,
dunderhead, bonehead,
et cetera, where mind
went AWOL earning par
tickle yule early cat us strophic

topic for poem - ah betcha yar
laughing (similar to the missus)
at my expense, asper war
re: ring how to resolve dilemma
as if a mouse caught by Gar
field with mere seconds to spar

(okay a bit of exaggeration),
but then Char
Lee horse made
an unexpected appearance,
thus incommodious, I hobbled
slow as a caterpillar

part way in the dark
til finally reaching familiar
windows of unit b44
thankfully unlocked,
thus plucked courage, and
grabbed reachable bedpost insofar

as to hoist my (nada so lightweight
former youthful body),
where every intercellular
muscle creaked, groaned,
and protested forced to
stretch to unfamiliar

height, length, width, et cetera
nonetheless, the porpoise
accomplished, matter I felt like
a dolphin with missing flipper,
though once dramatic egress complete,
an influx of radar

bombarded this cerebral
noggin, sans global surveillance drone
broadcast akin to shofar,
whereat this mild mannered man
suddenly found himself semi popular.