it's horrible of me to look at him and be in lust
for everything about him
to long to be in his arms
and get lost in his eyes
oh those bright, beautiful, blue eyes
that make me melt and freeze in the same instance.
and oh how I wish he would share with me
the way I have shared with him
the intimate and dark past behind me
how I have cried to him and asked of him
and always he obliges
but not a single tear shown to me
or secret even crept from his lips
oh those wonderful lips
I wonder how they feel
against my own, against my skin
or how sweet the sound would be
to hear those three worlds
I Love You
a symphony written for only me

we have stolen the night together
not in passion
but in so many words
so many glances
and even the question
will you ever love me?
but no.
I have broken that which I wish for daily
when I had him as mine before
I tossed him aside
crushed his heart
and stole his trust
i cheated.
I was young
and in love with another boy
another fool
who made me smile and feel on top of the world
but then took my all
as it had once been taken before
I was lost with him
but too afraid to be without him
...
but long has it been since that chapter was written
and the first man, oh how he has grown
and changed
yet not...
he accepted me
as a friend,
back into his life
kind to me every time we talk
every time I act like a fool
.....
i have apologized so many times
but he says it doesn't bother him
I was just a child
....
how young and stupid I was
...
and now I watch him
love another
ironically with the same name as mine
so how bitter sweet the words sound
when he claims "I Love You Taylor"
my heart races
skips a beat even,
but it is not for me.....
it will probably never be

how horrible of me to think of him this way
to get lost in the thought of his arms around me
or smile when I even see his name...

He is my friend
whom I love....
More then he will ever understand...
I just hope and pray for his happiness...