"Last Christmas, I gave you my heart"
When you called me late on the phone,
There was something that sounded different.
You tone, your mood, your words...
Slipped so smoothly from your tongue.
I almost didn't realize when you uttered the phrase
"I love you".
I had been waiting to hear those words
My whole entire life.
And suddenly, there they were.
Sending my brain into a frenzy of thoughts,
A moment of chaotic silence sitting in my bed.
As I told you "I love you too".

"But the very next day, you gave it away..."
I should have known better
Than to invest my heavy heart
Into the hands of a gambler.
You had already placed your bet on me and lost.
What made me think
You would be smarter than to throw it all in
And take your chances again?
Goodness, I was quite mistaken.
Those sweet, sultry words that promised a commitment
Sure didn't last long.

"This year, to save me from tears"
I decided to block your number.
It was the only way to stop myself
From picking up the phone,
And begging you to come back into my arms.
I determined that love was an experience
Made for people with luck on their side,
And the odds never seemed to be in my favor.
So I built a wall
Tall enough to block out a boy
6 feet tall with bright blue eyes,
Who claimed I was the light of his life,
While still playing tricks on me in the dark.

"I'll give it to someone special"
A man, not a boy.
Who honors, values, and respects me.
Who follow through on his word.
Who knows my heart has been damaged,
And wants to mend, nurture, and restore it
Rather than leave it even more bruised and tattered.
Who doesn't follow every ****-up
With the pathetic excuse that 'hurt people hurt people'.
Let me tell you something.
I am a hurt person.
But I sure as hell would never dream of harming you.
So "Maybe this year"
Just "Maybe this year"
I'll give it to someone special.