I don't know enough about God
To say that I believe in him.
I don't believe in perfection.
I don't believe in nothing either.
I've heard he's there when I need him most.
I've heard he hears my thoughts and prayers.
I've heard that he watches for my best interest
When I'm fully unaware.
I'm not questioning his existance
Cause I've never seen the guy.
I've never seen my great great great great cousin either...
But I've heard that he was here.
I don't know God's favorite color.
I don't know what makes him laugh.
I've never seen him sad or stuck inside a room by himself.
I've never had a drunken conversation with him
Even though at times I thought I had.
I know he has many books about him
And through words and rationalization
I try to keep myself well informed.
Though, I've never seen his name as the author
Or co-signer of the words...
So his history is fractured as far as the facts about him.
I know he's a family man.
I've heard he cares about his kids.
He lets them do whatever they want
Regardless of wether or not they listen to him.
I heard he used to be angry
But now he's just really quiet lately.
Yet I have no idea when he's spoken for himself most recently.
I've tried to blame him for stuff I've done
Cause those times I couldn't take the blame.
I never blame him for my happiness
Or the moments where I'm calm.
Cause if I truly believed, then I'm sure he'd be responsible for those parts too.
I can't say that I hate him.
Or resent him for being so absent from my sight.
He's a pretty busy guy, from what I've heard.
Same could go for myself, I guess.
I don't really believe in me either.
I make choices that I don't much like.
And I dislike the place where they've led me.
I've never trusted myself with honest things
Cause they intrude on the lies that I tell.
I don't have a set of divine morals
Cause if I did, I'd break them for my bad habits anyways.
I think too little and too much
To pinpoint a belief I could **** and die for...
In all honesty I don't want to **** or die at all.
Still, I like the idea that I don't matter
Though, I'm in no way humble.
I don't believe in forgivness
Cause no one ever really forgets.
I don't believe in science
Cause facts don't prove everything.
I kinda wish I knew him.
See if he's a music lover or a fan of different kinds of cheese.
I wonder if I could prank him and stand behind a wall to scare him into laughter.
I wonder if I knew him, if it would be easier to trust him.
Cause trust is another word for faith...
And I lack it in my arsenal of dreams and open minded thoughts.
And if I meet him at some point in time,
I hope he at least has a sense of humor.
Cause at the end of it all, one way or another,
I think the joke would be on me.