i am not your dream girl

i am the trees and the wind that breaks them
i am the dead grass and the fire that burns it
i am the oak and the vine that kills it
i am the abandoned house and the water that rots it

in my head, your voice is still calling me the sunshine that comes in through the window
when i knew better

i knew i was the dust that needed the sunlight to be seen
and i knew i was the ache that settled in your left shoulder overnight

knowing you for even this long has been nice
it's silly of me to think that i was the most beautiful girl you'd ever seen
when it was obvious your mouth had whispered the same things to women

the most ****** up thing about thinking "maybe i'm his" is the inescapable epiphany that he's not yours