This is the moment where I try to will myself to sleep.
The moment where we all know that will and basic reality create the opposite effect.
My thoughts are suspended into space...
Into an underwater impulse.
The whole world muted and crawling.
I find myself erasing and creating the person I've fashioned into,
Up until this point anyways.
I'm a closet full of personas...a wardrobe of ****** expressions
And nuances that are mine and mine alone.
Some I hate and some I can't afford to throw by the wayside.
No one becomes the person that they are simply by self affirmation.
I've stolen many of my horrors and my joys from others
And I'm sure a few of my personal affects are missing as well.
Moments of time and emotion so small that I wouldn't have noticed them missing anyways.
They're free to take regardless.
I give love and hatred just as freely as you might.
I clash into others and mimic the lives that could be theirs....
But I doubt they are.
Those who are sleeping, I applaud you.
Those who are hardly self aware and let the minutes slip them by
As if they have plenty to spare.
I however will remain awake.
Thinking of you, though I've never met you or seen your face.
Chances are I could be you, and you me.
We could be distorted reflections of each other
And the thrill of it that keeps me awake at nights
Is never knowing you but knowing that you're there.
So sweet dreams when they finally find you.